Scrunchi Mama

All three of my births happened before I knew what I know now about childbirth and I have many regrets for not hiring a doula or even attending a childbirth class. With each birth I learned more and more about what I wanted but now I know exactly what I want for my birth experience and it is too late for me. After my third baby, we made the decision to get a tubal ligation. Three kids was enough for us and we are still very happy with this decision, although it kills me that I will never experience the birth I dream of. This is ultimately what made me decide to become a doula! I want to make sure that new parents have all the information to make informed decisions for how they would like their childbirth experience.

Ellyana Rose 2014

My pregnancy will our oldest daughter was somewhat unplanned. We weren’t actively trying to get pregnant but we weren’t really preventing it either. I got pregnant at 19 years old with my now husband, Corey. I suffered for Hyperemisis Gravida (HG) throughout my entire pregnancy. I was hospitalized 13 times for dehydration and was known as “trash can girl” by my family, because I carried a trash can with me everywhere. I saw an OB throughout my entire pregnancy and I felt like he lacked the ability to remember his patients and I felt like I wasn’t important enough for him to remember anything about me. I just thought that this was normal and went on with my pregnancy.

At my 37 week appointment he checked my cervix and it was dilated to 1cm. It was still 1cm at 38 weeks. At this point he brought up inducing me because I was complaining of lower back pain. I was scared but was sick of being pregnant so I scheduled an induction for May 1st at 8pm. I did not know anything about the risks of getting induced and I wish I did because scheduling that induction was the start of the downfall.

On May 1st at 8pm I was admitted and placed in the labor and delivery room for my induction. Before actually starting me on anything they checked my vitals and asked me 100 questions for 2 hours, which I then had to repeat all to the doctor. At 10 pm they inserted a little pill onto my cervix to help it dilate and efface. I was then hooked up to a pulse oximeter, blood pressure cuff, contraction monitor, and baby’s heart rate monitor. I felt like I couldn’t move without something beeping at me. How is anyone expected to labor hooked up to all of this.

At midnight I still was not having any contractions so they hooked me up to an IV and started me on Pitocin, which is a synthetic form of Oxytocin which causes your uterus to contract. About an hour late I could start to feel some contractions but they just felt like mild period cramps. The only reason I knew they were contractions was because they were being tracked by the monitor on my belly. At my 5am cervical check I was at 3 centimeters and 50% effaced. They decided to break my water without asking me. My OB just said “okay I am going to break your water so you may feel a gush of fluid.” I know now that that was not okay and that your doctor needs to ask your permission about everything!

By 8 am I was having some stronger contractions so I told my nurses that I wanted an epidural. The reason I asked so early was because I was terrified that the anesthesiologist would take forever and it would be too late. By 9am he came in and I was given an epidural. This epidural definitely worked because I could not move from the waist down. I no longer felt any of the contractions but I was still having them pretty consistently. At 12:30 pm my OB checked me and I was still at 4 centimeters and been for the last 4 hours. My husband was handed a head to toe sterile suit and we were told that I needed a cesarean. Being new parents, we were terrified and went with it. We were told to get everything packed up because we would not be returning to that room after surgery.

I was rolled into the operating room with my husband next to me. They began to prep me and put a curtain up so we could not see anything going on. I began getting very nauseous so they were giving me meds through my IV about every 3 minutes otherwise I was going to aspirate on vomit. I didn’t feel any of the cutting but I did feel the pressure of him pulling her out. At 1:56 pm our Ellyana Rose was born. She was 7lbs 1oz. I was too drowsy to be able to do skin to skin right away so my husband held her by my face. We were moved into a small recovery room where we had some time to bond with our daughter, well my husband did because I could hardly keep my eyes open. We did try nursing while my husband helped to hold her on me. She latched on pretty well to begin with even though I was getting moved around to get cleaned up after surgery.

We were then moved to our new room on the maternity floor. It took 3 nurses to move me to the bed because I was still very numb from the epidural. Those next 24 hours were pretty calm and we just rested a lot. The next day we saw a Lactation Consultant to see how breastfeeding was going. She showed me the basics and I thought we were doing pretty well. On May 5th we were getting ready to be discharged and the pediatrician informed us that Elly had lost 12% of her birth weight. Instead of checking out her latch or even examining any breastfeeding issues, we were told to go home and supplement with formula. So we went home and gave her a bottle of formula and thats when our troubles began. I lasted about 2 months of breastfeeding her before losing most of my supply because she preferred the bottle over me and I was never taught how to pump to keep up. I love my daughter no matter what I went through to bring her in this world but I also learned a lot about this whole experience.

Daxton Everett 2016

On New Years Eve 2015 we decided that we were ready for another baby. We got pregnant that weekend.. I know crazy! My pregnancy with our son was pretty normal. We moved to a different state so I saw a different OB with this pregnancy. I was still very sick but not as bad and it pretty much stopped around 20 weeks. At my 38 week prenatal appointment I was 1cm dilated and 50% effaced so my OB asked if I would like my membranes stripped. I asked her a few questions and decided lets go ahead and do it. We went to the mall and walked around for a while and walked a lot more throughout the day. By that night I was having contractions every 5 minutes that were pretty strong. We decided to head to the hospital since we live 45 minutes away.

By the time I had gotten all admitted the contractions had slowed down to about every 12 minutes and weren’t very strong anymore. That entire week I was having these contractions that would become closer together and stronger but then stop all together. At my 39 week appointment she checked my cervix and I was still at 1cm and 50% effaced. I told her I couldn’t handle much more and decided I wanted to just schedule a c-section instead of attempting a VBAC.

On September 23rd we were admitted into the hospital around 10am. The nurse asked me all of the routine questions and took all my vitals. They had me on the monitors for about an hour just to see how baby was doing and to check the progression of my contractions which that day were pretty irregular and mild. Around 12:45 they finished prepping me for surgery and we headed down to the operating room. My husband was told to wait outside while they did the spinal tap and they would come and get him. The difference between a spinal tap and an epidural is that an epidural is a continuous drip of medicine whereas a spinal tap is just one does that lasts a couple hours. They had me sit on the bed and one of the nurses stood in front of me and I leaned on them while they did the spinal. Then I was laid down and over the next few minutes they would poke my legs and belly until I could no longer feel it and then they brought my husband back in.

The surgery itself went much like my first. I felt nothing but pressure and nausea and then my son was born at 1:31pm. Daxton was 7lbs 9oz. My husband held him by my head while they closed me up because I was spitting up a bit. They suctioned my mouth out to keep me from choking and once I was able to turn my body a bit it was much better. We were transferred to a little recovery room where they cleaned me up, changed my gown, and put pads under me, all with baby on my chest. He latched on for the first time in that room and I knew right there that I could do this. I could be successful in nursing my baby. Little did I know what I was going to have to go through first.

Once in our maternity room we had a great first day of bonding with our son. The second day I noticed that breastfeeding was really hurting. My upper back hurt from leaning forward while nursing and my nipples were very sore. The lactation consultant came in and she was the sweetest lady ever! We ended up working with her the entire 4 days we were in the hospital. Daxton started to lose over 10% of his body weight so they brought in a pump for me to pump after each feeding to help my supply come faster. They brought up supplementing and I was TERRIFIED! After supplementing with Elly everything changed! They heard my concerns and recommended SNS (supplemental nursing system) which is like a little bottle that you can add pumped milk or formula into and you clip it onto your shirt. They is a little tube that comes out of the bottle that your baby will latch onto at the breast. This is an amazing way to supplement because your breasts are still getting stimulated as well and you’re not bringing a bottle into the equation.

We supplemented with formula for the next day and a half and the lactation consultant noticed my nipple looked uneven after each feeding. We found out that Dax had a tongue tie which was causing the poor latch. They clipped the tie soon after and his latch was much better almost immediately. We were finally sent home and continued to supplement for the next couple days using the SNS. The first couple weeks of nursing was a little stressful but so worth it! I went on to nurse Daxton for 13 months!

Calliope Darlene 2019

In January of 2019 we thought about trying for our final baby. Of course I happened to be ovulating that weekend and we got pregnant immediately. At this point I hadn’t been on birth control for 2 years and felt very in tune with my body so I was already tracking my ovulation so that we couldn’t get pregnant. I will talk about natural family planning in another blog. My pregnancy was much like my second. I felt sick until about halfway through but otherwise was feeling good. I saw the same OB as I did with Dax and she agreed to let me try for a VBAC.

At 36 weeks I found out I had GBS (group strep B) so I would need IV antibiotics during delivery so that I did not pass it off to the baby. At 38 weeks I decided it was time to start my maternity leave because I was exhausted and just in a lot of pain all the time. Chasing two kiddos of my out around plus being a daycare teacher while have a bowling ball in my belly was taking a toll on me. I stayed home all day and bounced on that yoga ball whenever I could. I went for walks, tried some crazy yoga positions, tried spicy food, but nothing was working to enhance these contractions. Yes… I was having irregular, mild contractions again! Later that week I went to my OB appointment and she checked my cervix and NOTHING was happening. How could I be having contractions but not progressing at all! I told her just to get her out of me, I was done.

Yes… I know! I was a big baby by the end of pregnancy. I annoy even myself when I think back. I was just convinced at this point that my body is incompetent of birthing a baby. Now I know that I just needed more knowledge about childbirth and support.

On September 30th we went in for our scheduled c-section. At 6am we were admitted and I was hooked up to my IV and my vitals were taken. By 7:30 we were in the OR and I was receiving my spinal tap. During the surgery I felt very woozy and my blood pressure kept dropping making me spit up quite a bit. I just remember laying there with tubes in my nose to give me air and a suction in my mouth. I felt a lot of pressure in my abdomen and then I heard my daughter crying. Calliope Darlene was born at 8:01am. She was 7 lbs 3 oz.

During my whole pregnancy we were asked each appointment and then had to sign papers before the birth to confirm a tubal ligation. This is something that we had talked about for a long time we we decided 3 was enough for us. Later on if we want more kids, there are so many children waiting to be adopted. So before she closed me up, she performed the tubal ligation.

Callie nursed like a pro from the first time she latched on in the recovery room and I knew I was going to have another great experience with nursing. She did lose some weight in the hospital but at this point I figured my milk came in closer to day 5 so I was not worried. We met with the same amazing Lactation Consultant that we had with Dax and she had no concerns with how things were going. There was a time I wanted to give up tho because the pediatrician seemed to be very concerned about her weight but we got through it. We did supplement with her using SNS again but this time with donor milk and whatever I was pumping. She was a bit jaundice so they wanted us to stay another day to test her again in the morning. We were sent home and Callie went on to nurse for 11 months!

What should I take from these stories?

1. Take a childbirth class. The free hospital classes can be informing but they focus more on what to expect from the hospital rather than how to actually get through it.
2. Know that you have options. You don’t have to hire an OB. If you are low risk and want a more natural childbirth, I recommend a midwife. You also don’t have to birth at a hospital. Birthing centers and at home are options too.
3. Hire a doula! A birth doula can help you understand what options you have for anything that comes up.
4. Wait until you are in active, established labor before you go to the hospital. The bright lights and stress of getting admitted can actually stall the release of oxytocin which is what causes contractions.
5. You will not be pregnant forever! Be patient, stay calm, relax. Labor will come when your body and your baby are ready. Your “due date” is just a guess. Some babies need more time to develop and some don’t.
6. Know that you are in charge! You get to say no. Ask questions. Why do we need to do this. What happens if we don’t? What are the other options?

I am sure there are many things that I missed while writing these stories. But for the most part this is the jist of it. I hope you learn something from my experiences. I know I did!